Thursday, April 15, 2010

be kind

Worry is the opposite of faith.

I keep saying it and it's helping. That, and counting our blessings.

We're going to be okay. Truly, we are.

Thank you everyone for your concern and prayers.

Yesterday when I was so worried and stressed I needed something to get my mind off of things. I needed something big. So while Alfredo napped, I took all the pictures off the living room wall, spackled the nail holes, and sanded.

It's a little bit of a wreck in there right now but it felt so good to work on something big like that.

The thought of changing the living room has been in my head for a little while. I think the row of wooden houses I had above the sofa would look better along a hallway off the foyer. I might even paint the wall behind them with chalkboard paint.

Meanwhile, when I saw Katie Daisy's work over at Jenny's blog, I bought this poster immediately...

I'm working on a gallery arrangement of artwork to go over the sofa. I can't wait to pull it all together. And I'm going to try to do it without spending another dime.

The funny thing about this poster is that when I went to Michael's to buy a frame, this adage was tested a bit and I'm afraid I didn't do so well. It was Alfredo's naptime. My Michael's doesn't have a place in the parking lot to return the carts. On every other day we go there, I always make a point of returning my cart (and sometimes others in the lot along with it) all the way to the front of the store. But yesterday, I don't know, I was feeling lazy.

I'd parked way out in the parking lot, walked all the way to the car with Alfredo in the cart, unloaded my frame into the trunk, and started walking back to the store with Alfredo still sitting in the cart. I considered going the distance to return it properly but Alfredo was whining, so completely ready for his nap, and I was tired. So I nested our cart into another abandoned cart, took Alfredo out of the cart and started back to my car. And then I heard a man say "YOUNG LADY! If that cart hits my car, you're going to be in BIG TROUBLE!" I looked over a little confused. And then he started full-out cussing me out. Maybe it's my imagination, but I think he was even waving his cane at me high over his head. And he was sure mad, blaming the state of the world on bleep bleep lazy bleep bleep bleeps like me.

Anyway, I didn't do the kind thing. I just ran, my heart racing and my spare hand cupped to Alfredo's ear, back the car. Everybody stopped in the parking lot to stare at this angry old man and then back at me, fleeing the scene of the crime.

I got in my car and cried. You can be sure I won't ever make that lazy mistake again!


Jill said...

Don't worry about one crabby old man. You do what you can for your children. One time I was at Lowe's and an old man tried to pull into a parking place that was rightfully mine. He was stayed parked behind my car and was waiting to cuss me out until he saw me waddle out of the car. I was VERY pregnant. He drove off and left me alone. You never know what will set a stranger off. Just do your best to be kind and take care of your family. :)

Natasha Burns said...

oh my gosh i think that man needs to learn to be kind... i probably would've been tempted to push the cart right at him or his car~!

J. Paige said...

I'm so sorry that happened to you!!! Taking care of your family comes first. Parking the cart wasn't a crime and you are NOT a bleep,bleep! I hope your week gets BETTER!!!

Anonymous said...

I would have pushed the cart over to him and said, "Thank you for helping me return it, since I have my hands full with a crying toddler! I appreciate your help!"

Anne said...

He needs to learn a lesson from the old adage...if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. By the way, last time I heard, there aren't any shopping cart police!

Tania Pelletier said...

Oh Amy, that sucks! Don't let someone like that get to you, he needs a lesson in kindness himself, he could have done the kind thing and taken the cart back to the store for you seeing that you had your hands full!

I was reading the comments that others have left and when I first red "anonymous'" comment I thought she said "I would have pushed the cart OVER him" as in running him over with it and I thought "Yah, that sounds like a good idea!" LOL!


Valarie said...

Oh Amy.....What a terrible way to start your day. I don't know why angry mean people like to take it out on others, but they sure do. Don't let it get you down. Mean people suck!! I hope today is better.
xxoo Valarie

Tra La La Boom De Ay said...

Oh my Lord, I would like to find one person, yes one who is just and honorable in putting the carts back into the far away cart cubbies. Yes, I do believe the Lord has searched the world over and He was not able to find one so he will be sending down sulfur upon us at 12:00 noon. What was that silly man thinking? Older? He had a cane? Then in his old school day, he would have offered to help regardless of having a cane or not. Really that was the way. Women were helped and not belittled and looked down upon. HE was wrong. So oh well, we forgive him and ask the Lord to bless him hoping that the Lord will allow his heart to open up and place more value on people than on things. Hugs to you sweet woman, big huge HUGS!!!

Molly said...

I think in this day and age with the way the world is going, the slightest of things set people off. I would have cried too, people can be so mean! The only thing we can do is pray for him and hopefully he won't be rude to anyone else. I will keep you in my prayers about taxes, gotta love the govt! Hope your week gets better and remember God doesn't give you anything you can't get through friend!
~Molly P

Sandy, Sisters of Season said...

Boy, did that only add to your day or what. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. Some people become so hostile over the little thing. I think that's what happens when you allow bitterness to take over . . when life has been unfair to you. Behind every trial is blessing. I think I feel some good news coming.
Happy Thursday!

Jennifer Hepler-Takens said...

I am sending you love.

Kathryn Dyche said...

We all get days like that where it feels like the world is conspiring against us and everyone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Hopefully a day on you'll be able to laugh about it but I know how awful it can feel when you're experiencing it in the moment. Big hug.

Catherine said...

Sweet Amy,
His outburst had nothing to do with you in all reality. I am sure he must be churning with anger on the inside with some burden that he is carrying around and he is taking his frustration out on others. It was an unkind act but don't let it stress you out anymore than it already has. Send good thoughts his way and let that ugly event go...
Hug your sweet little boy and grab an extra kiss or two from him : )

As always I love your willingness to share with us, your blog readers.

Waterfall said...

What a jerk! He sounds like a very unhappy man who could use a "Be Kind to Others" poster himself!!

I'm thinking of the saying, "Don't let the turkeys get you down." Easier said than done, I'm sure. But I'm also sure that his outburst had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the bad day he was having. I just hate that you had to be in the line of fire of his bad mood.

I love you!

Kristi said...

Today is his day. Everyone gets a day. And while he's probably had a horrible, terrible, no good very bad day, that does not excuse his shouting profanities in a parking lot.

Yes, we should all walk the carts back to the store and put them away. But the little people we take care of are some times more demanding of every second of the day. Give yourself a break and then say a quick prayer that the old guy's day gets better.

the decorated cookie said...

This man sounds unstable. Your instinct to run was the right one! I'm a big shopping-cart-returner-even-if- ugh -there-isn't-one-in-the-lot person, too, but if it makes you feel any better, when my husband worked at Giant as a teenager, his favorite job was collecting lonely carts from the parking lot. Outside, fresh air, no customers, pure leisure.

And one more thing (now I'm on a roll)... The reason why we don't go nuts at others in public, and hence, why this man was wrong and unstable and awful, is that you simply never know if another's actions are indicative of who they are at heart, or a one time exception because of extenuating circumstances (such as getting bad news and having a cranky toddler). Thus, we err on the side of the latter, judge internally if we must, but we don't curse at a woman with a kid. Scratch that. We don't curse at ANYONE :) ! Bravo to you for wisely using this forum, too, to make us all feel better!

natalea said...

the same kind of thing happened to my mom when she was with Scarlet and the cart! people are so ridiculous! I always say I wish that would happen to me! I'd love for that confrontation...but I admit, my fantasy doesn't include kindness! But it only seems to happen to sweet people like you and my mom. It really catches you off-guard doesn't it? Well don't you worry! when people act like that they are coming from a negative place- and I guess we can just feel sorry for them for getting so worked up about petty things!
take care and I wish you a happy day Amy!
xo nat

Angelica Bays, said...

Oh, HECK no!
Your duty is to your **SON** and not to some crotchity old man. What, you're supposed to leave your son alone in an overheated car just so this guy's sensibilities aren't offended ?

He was a jerk and you are a Mama. DOn't you dare get the two mixed up again!

besos y abrazos!

Anonymous said...

Pay NO attention. One time I had my daughter, a toddler at the time, in a stroller at a department store. We'd been there a while and she was starting to whine to get out of the stroller. I headed to the exit, ready to leave, when a sales clerk yells across the store "I need a nap mommy -- PLEASE take me home." Can you believe some people?!

meleen said...


any human who cusses at a women and a baby in a parking lot has much bigger issues...forget him...or better yet, we should pray for him, he's the one who needs help!


Vanessa said...

Dearest Amy,
I am so sorry you had to go through such an awful thing! I guess that man needed some extra prayer that day, because the enemy of our souls sure had a hold on him! You are so sweet, and isn't it just like the devil to be right there to confront, put it at the Lords feet sweet one, and pray for that poor soul who cussed you out, better that we all pray for him and defeat the enemy in prayer than to add to it and let the enemy win. Do not be condemned for leaving your cart in the parking lot.
You should feel special that you are that much of a threat to the enemy,and such a blessing to the Lord, that he would use you to start a prayer campaign for that poor soul in the parking lot. Let us all pray that his circumstances will improve, and that he will become more tender hearted and less worldly minded. Vanessa

Jill said...

If he was any kind of gentleman he would have seen that you were a mom with a tired child and would have offered to help put your cart back for you. Creep. Ooops, now I'M not being kind. Well... he WAS a creep.

Unknown said...

oh I have had days like those! you poor thing, those are just the worst.
But sometimes a mama just can't do it all and it is a-o-k.
Thanks for the link to the poster - Love her work!!

Saucy said...

Amy, it's not about what you did, it's about what he said. You know that you always return the cart but of course on the one day you don't... but that's no excuse for his bad behaviour - or language, especially in front of Sweet Alfredo!

After yesterday's tax news, and that kind of encounter, no wonder you shed a few tears. I've done that too. Trust me, everyone in the parking lot was worried for you and ashamed for him.

{hugs} and you know what... Grumpy Guy could use a copy of that artwork!

OfficeTYPE said...

Oh dear, I feel badly for you. I know exactly where you're coming from. A similar thing happened to me when my eldest son was a baby and in a car seat, no less. I also 'always' put the carts back, going well out of my way to do so. But this time, babe was in a car seat which was heavy to lug around and there was another cart right near my car so I just pushed mine into that one and some man started to yell at me. I told him there was already a cart there and walked away carting the heavy car seat with me. Some people don't get it! Don't let him bug you! Hugs!

Unknown said...

Wow. The same EXACT thing happened to my daughter once when she had her 3 year old son with her. She did yell back - told him to stop talking like that in front of her son (he was using some horrendous profanity). She also ran and locked herself in her car.

(Oh, and I am handicapped and sometimes can't walk the cart all the way back - I have a friend who told me "it's okay, people need jobs and that keeps someone employed".)

Meander said...

oh darling! I had a very similar instant last week: a driver got mad at me for not turning on a yellow light and when I did turn (the next go round) he followed me into a parking lot cussing and screaming horrific things about idiot women drivers that aren't paying attention. I was frozen, couldn't do or say anything (actually I take that back, my heart was beating and my hands were shaking so I wasn't entirely stagnant). It will be ok, the problem isn't you, you're perfect! :)