Wednesday, August 20, 2008

embarrassing...

So, in what is probably the most embarrassing moment of my life, today as I was chatting with my new friend Emeril (he's taping a tv show at my Whole Foods), Baby grabbed my shirt and pulled it as hard as he could in a downward motion, revealing my bra-covered boobs for everyone, including Emeril to see. Emeril, being such the gentleman, looked away. I could feel my face getting hot red. And, Baby? He just held on to my shirt with his superstrength deathgrip, prolonging the embarrassment and ensuring that everyone in the whole grocery store got a peek.

What's the most embarrassing moment your baby brought on?

39 comments:

Radiogirl said...

:-) I don't think I can compete w/this. I think the baby want's breast milk in a recipe ...

Anonymous said...

Yes, I learned very early as a mom not to wear shirts with zippers! Jan

Jen@The Cottage Nest said...

Well, I remember trying to buy a digital camera a few years ago while my little one suddenly became obsessed with my boobs. I could barely speak I was so embarrassed. However, he wasn't Emeril so that just had to make it worse. Were you at least wearing a pretty bra because I'm usually wearing some boring cotton number! Look on the bright side. Emeril will not soon forget you. :) Jen

Stacy said...

Thanks for sharing! This is most funny because it happened in front of Emeril. lol.

deb said...

OH the things I have to look forward to. Hey - I bet you made his day!! ;)

svalleygirl said...

it's happened to the best of us.....i have heard from my husband that men are very empathetic of such embarrassing snafus with babies.

I AM said...

at least he didn't say

"BAM"

that would've been REALLY embarrassing!

Waterfall said...

Good thing you remembered your bra! :-D

CalicoDaisy said...

Remember, it's not how you feel, it's how you look! And, did you look marvelous? Was it at least a pretty bra?

Emy said...

My four year old told me had to pee after we left the store, so I told him to hold it until we got home. I'm strapping the baby in her carseat and I look up and see him standing kind of far away ( I was parked by one of those grassy areas with trees.) I walk around the car to see him pulling up his pants. He had peed right in front of Target for the world to see.
And once he told my dad that I have big boobs.

Lovie said...

Oh Amy, you poor thing! I sure hope it was a pretty bra and not an old ratty, comfy one. :)

Sarah and Jack said...

Jack has done the same thing. He was having the mother of all temper tantrums in the middle of a big flea market (which is embarrassing enough), when he grabbed onto my shirt and would not let go of it. The v-neck part was down to my knees, and I was exposed to the entire (very crowded) flea market. Oy.

m i c h e l l e said...

HYS!terical! My most embarassing child-related moment actually wasn't at the hands of my own child. I was in the grocery store with my sister and her daughter, who was 5 at the time. My niece was strapped into the grocery cart child seat and I was pushing the cart. The store was crowded and we were standing in line, waiting to check out. It was at this time when my sweet little niece reached out, grabbed one of my boobs in each hand, gave them a honk and shouted, "Auntie Shell's Ta Ta's!!" Not sure what she was thinking but I was mortified!

Take care, Amy...and I'm looking forward to seeing you at Silver Bella!!!

Malgosia said...

Baby? It doesn't stop at the "baby" stage. My daughter who is 6 went to the kitchen where my husband and my 82 year old, very conservative father-in-law were chatting holding very obviously spread a pair of lacy, pink, sexy panties, that got mixed with her clothes, and announced in booming voice "These ain't mine!" . I wasn't there but my husband blushed for me.

Michele said...

Oh no! :) I had a few of those moments when I was adjusting to having a new little baby. :) At one point, the same thing happened to me- baby pulled my shirt down in front of a Mennonite Church service!

So, will you be avoiding Emeril's section in the store for awhile? :)

Whosyergurl said...

My daughter was five when my son was born. One day I was breast feeding and she said "Is one white milk and the other one chocolate?"

I always had a hot flash whenever either one of them would start to rip cards out of the rack at Hallmark! "Run! Quick, get outta the store!"

You are wonderful with Baby. I admire you sooooooooooo much for what you are doing! Blessing so many lives at once! You are wonderful, Amy!

hugs, Cheryl (Whosyergurl)

Annette D said...

So sorry I got such a chuckle over your encounter with Emeril!

VERBENA.... NESTED TREASURES said...

I am cracking up... don't worry Emeril has seen zuccini's,melons & peaches before!!!
xoxoxo Laura

VERBENA.... NESTED TREASURES said...

Oh I just though of something funny... when my daughter was home sick fromr preschool, the phone rang and my son five at the time answered it... hello he said in his sweet little voice..Olivia is home sick today with genital herpes ( Thank you T.V. commercials)...Oh I grabed the phone and said hi to my new employer...It was funny at the time.. You wanted to know...I have many stories..xoxox Laura

Jerusalem said...

I think they can sense a moment of weakness. My worst one was being in a Wal-Mart and having my cranky, tantrum throwing 2 yr old yell "No Momma, Don't Hit Me!" at the top of his lungs. Yeah, that was bad. I can't even remember was I was threatening to do (probably take away a favorite toy...) but I can remember just thinking, "Well kid, you've got it made now. Good one."
On the subject of clothing, my 4 year old thinks my sundresses are his personal tents in stores. Just had to drag him out from under one the other day. Again in Wal-Mart. Remind me not to shop there anymore. Target is much safer.

Heather said...

Oh I have had that happen before when my little was a baby. LOL But not in front of Emeril.. but then I am not fortunate to have him as my new best friend ;) At least you had a bra on.. and hopefully a nice one :)

stephanie t. said...

Hmmm...there are SO many!! LOL!
I think one of the 'firsts' was when I walked into a very important court proceeding to give expert testimony...my colleague brought to my attention a long stream of cottage cheese 'baby barf' soaked into the back of my suit...oh yes (my luck)... the blouse underneath too!!

Welcome to the fold Amy!!

MaryCatherine said...

Oh Amy! You poor thing! I feel your pain. My 15 month old did this to me when she was about 10 months old, I live in Hawaii and the native language here is very choppy, Well, one day when I was at the grocery store my darling daughter did this very same thing to me, right when a group of Hawaiian teenage boys were passing by, of course I couldn't understand what they were saying, but they all got VERY excited about my choice of hot pink undergarments and made exclamations that sounded something like this: "Malicky mama locka locka maka!!!!" I can only imagine...

Babies just love the boobies.

pedalpower said...

LOL Thank goodness you were wearing a bra!

When my son was little and riding in the grocery cart a lady shopper leaned close to him reach a cut of meat....she had a large mole on her cheek. I could see him eyeing it, and I prayed he'd stay quiet. But then I heard "Hi. You have a BIG nipple on your face." Ugh. I'm sure he meant pimple. She gave me a dirty look...some people have no sense of humor :)

Mona said...

O.K., here goes. . . My son one time wet his pants in the store; to entertain his older brother, while I had my back turned, he put on a bra and girdle in the ladies department and danced with it on; one time in a very high end store, while looking at decorated Christmas trees, I turned around to find him unzipping his pants, ready to relieve himself (once again in a store. To his defense, we were building a house with no bathroom, and he did need to go outdoors); he followed a black man around the store and kept exclaiming
There's Bill Cothby! (Bill Cosby). His older brother asked for a bag in a store once and then promptly threw up (very neatly) in it. At a baseball game of her brothers, my daughter ran up excitedly showing off her beautiful lipstick--that she found in the garbage. Oh, and my son found a piece of gum under the table in a restaurant and ate it. While I was shopping, my older son took apart the bench at a little play center in the store. Lest you think I am an awful mother, all these things happened in the blink of an eye, and my kids were always very bright (they've all graduated or are attending college). Sometimes I wonder how I lived through it, but they were the BEST BEST years of my life. Enjoy every minute with your little one. Mona

Roxie said...

OMG Emeril? LOL

My baby was about 2 at the time, but we were in a department store and I had her sitting in the big part of a cart. I stubbed my toe on the front of the cart and without even thinking, blurted out S#&*! She must have liked that unfamiliar word cuz she repeated it non-stop for the next few minutes before I cupped my hand over her mouth to stop her. We got some strange looks alright. Sooooooooooo funny now. LOL

Judy said...

Too funny.

I was in a restaurant with friends when my then 2 year old son announced happily that he needed to go potty. We were working on potty training, but he really had never asked before, so I felt obligated to take him.

Upon entering the very small bathroom filled with white-haired grandmothers (which describes me, now!) he started SCREAMING "NO NO NO! I want to pee on the floor!" Of course, that wasn't an option. He would not pee in the potty and would not stop insisting that he wanted to pee on the floor.

We ended up leaving earlier than I had planned because, well, it is hard to enjoy lunch with friends while one's usually shy and unassuming two year old carries on so.

Later that night I recounted with much drama the events of the day to my husband, who calmly remarked that the men's bathroom in that very same restuarant has a urinal that extends all the way to the floor.

Well now. That explains it.

Brenda Kula said...

Oh, how funny! I know it wasn't at the time! My "babies" are getting ready to turn 30 and 34, but the one turning 30 breastfed longer than I wanted her to due to health problems. She use to scream in the grocery: "I want my mow (like cow) mows!" And reach over and grab me like your baby did! Mortifying.
Brenda

lauradodson said...

1. Similar incident but I was in a bathing suit in our local pool. Yep. Flashed everyone and their dog. That tops the chart.

2. Joshua throwing the biggest wall-eyed fit of a lifetime in the teeny tiny bread store when he was about 2 or 3. The cashier clearly was not amused and I, being a new Mom and all, was trying everything to hush him up from gentle persuasion to a commanding authorative voice and finally, retreating to the car to let him finish and get it all out of his system. Talk about powerful...and very embarrassing.

sweetfunkyvintage said...

Oh no! I have 3 kids under 6, so my boobs have been flashed to many, many people, many times. However, I don't think anyone famous has seen them!!
:)
Missy

PS - Thank God for Lands End high necked tankinis or I would never be able to go swimming!

Anonymous said...

One hot, summer evening my husband and I decided to dine out with our then 15 month old daughter. We no longer had her into the high chair when all of a sudden we heard the sound of water splashing. Looking over to her, we saw that she was peeing and somehow it was escaping her diaper and sunsuit and running down the sides of the chair to the floor. Mortifying but nothing we could do about it but ignore (with red faces).

Saucy said...

I'm sorry, I giggled just a little bit over your embarassing travesty. You'll laugh about this later.

Buddy Budderson fell into the mall water fountain when he was about Baby's age... head first, while The Fan and I were sitting right there sipping our latte. I wonder why some authority didn't come take him from me right there and then!

Mary said...

After child#2 was born, my first outing was to the grocery store with child#1 in the seat of the grocery cart. While waiting in line to pay, she sticks one hand on each of my newly engorged beauties and exclaims (rather loudly) "Mommy, where did you get these biggest, biggest breasts?!"

And then I immediately started to leak ... onto my navy blue shirt.

Michelle M White said...

I was in a crowded Target check-out line when my oldest, who was 6 years old at the time, said in her LOUDEST voice, "Why is it that we have all these kids and no dad?" (BTW, we DO have a dad!) Oh well...she'll get paid back one day!

Sojourn said...

She wasn't a baby, she was about 3yrs old and it was about 27 yrs ago... I was a waitress at the time, it was pay day and I had the great fortune and rare luck of having the day off so I had decided to do some errands. I was forced to wear a really hideous pumpkin orange uniform for work so this day I decided to wear my prettiest dress with nylons and sandals. My nylons had a BIG hole in the front of them but this was no big deal, after all no one was going to see them... right? Daughter saw me getting dressed and was fascinated by this large hole and the way it framed my belly button. I finally got her distracted and we were off to do our errands.

We were standing in line at the bank and I had my mind on banking matters when clear as a bell my daughter says for everyone to hear.... I want to see your hole; she then throws the skirt of my dress practically over my head and proceeds to check out the hole in my nylons.

The male teller saw it all; I don't know which of us was more shocked.

Then there was the day she pulled my tube top off at the grocery store... you don't wear bras under tube tops.

Paula said...

Oh, dear. Welcome to the club! All three of my children at sometime during their toddlerhood have yanked up my skirt in church. My daughter was obsessed with my breasts, and she used to plunge her hand down my shirt without warning no matter where we were. I felt so manhandled all the time. It's a good thing we love them, isn't it?

Cheryl said...

WOW! Amy, I am laughing and cringing and smiling in shared embarssment for you, all at once! :)

Gayle said...

OMG I am hysterical reading all the responses!! too funny!!! I remember how embarassed we were sitting in a fine Chinese restaurant when my 4 yr old decided to shout out her version of the Chinese language!! Mostly it concisted of the names of Chinese resaurants we frequented!! I also rememeber how same child told everyone that her grandmas feet don't touch the ground while she sits on the toilet!!! lol More embarassing for grandma then me!! lol

Doojies/Stephanie said...

Oh I don't know, peeing at checkout at WalMart (their bad putting the bathrooms in the back when moms are shopping with kids), massive, explosive diahrrea in the pool (same child as pee pee), then just the generic pointing and yelling loudly about peoples' handicaps, weight, looks. Just you wait Enry Iggens!