I don't think I've ever come right out and shared with you that Rich and I are not able to have children. It has taken nearly 10 years of us trying, both with and without medical help, to realize this fully. And it has truly been the single hardship in our life together.
At first we grieved it like a death. Well, in a way it was the death of a dream. The dream of seeing Rich's freckles and all the charm of his smile and his kindness in a little miniature version of him. Or a little curly haired curious and strange little version of me with a smile that is entirely too large for her face.
It's still very sad to think of that dream. But it's been a while and the sharp edges of it have dulled a bit.
The big news we want to share is that we are getting busy with building a family in a nontraditional way. Rich and I are preparing to be foster parents.
It's a long process, filled with social workers and home visits and preparing a room that'll feel like home even when home is not as safe as it should be. We also need to prepare ourselves emotionally and mentally. This is no small thing.
The most wonderful part of this whole process has been the acceptance that this is what we are meant to do. It makes sense of our infertility. Something that once seemed so unfair, so cruel now serves as the gateway to this new life that we would not have otherwise chosen.
Our mission will be to love each child as if they were ours, give them a loving home, be steady and gentle, and care for them for as long as they are here. Sometimes it might be days. For others it might be years.
Your heart would break wide open if you heard some of the stories of what these children have lived through. I don't know what this big new adventure will mean for this blog or my online store. I'm certain that there will be some changes.
When I was explaining to my nephew Seth about it he said "I t'ink you should get one about 3 years old, Amy." "Why's that?" "I can teach him to ride a bike!"
Later on that week, he asks my sister if he could teach her little Maggie to ride a bike. "Oh Maggie is still a little young to ride a big bike" she said. "She's happy on her tricycle" To which he replies "Well Amy's going to let me teach her little boy how to ride a bike!"
56 comments:
How wonderful and exciting to read this news.
I read your journal each and everyday.
Blessings.
How happy I am!
I don't know you...but all I can think to say is that I am so proud of you. It is an amazing thing to do.
That's wonderful! Congratulations!
Amy- this is wonderful news. I wish you lots of luck over the next few weeks as you get prepared. It's wonderful when God finally reveals plans to us isn't? Please know that I am here for you!
~Wendy
Amy, My heart is with you today....I too struggled with infertility for so many years(6 to be exact)...my story resulted in a sweet and precious gift. "Mackenzie" We are so thankful for each and every second we have with her. As I read your post today...I felt a sigh of relief and joy for you and Rich! You will make wonderful parents!!
I honor your courage and your heart...no doubt will you leave a lasting impression on each and every child that comes into your life with your zest and love for life....I am so happy! Today is a good day! Take Care and Hope to see you soon at the Cottage.
LOL, Monica in Baltimore
I'm bursting with happiness for you and Rich! I know that you both will have so much love to share with your foster children and I wish you many, many blessed years with all who are welcomed into your home and family!
Truly wonderful news! Hugs, Heather
How wonderful that a house so full of love will be open to children who need it. You are amazing!
Amy how wonderful! I too know the ugly road of infertility. Eight years on it seemed like a lifetime! God never keeps the desires of our hearts from us, He only insists on doing it His way. I can't wait to see your desire and dreams unfold! xox Tracy
bless you and your husband. that is such a huge thing to do. my sister is a social worker and dealt with cases for the first 7 years of it and i know what it means for them to have dependable loving families that they can take children to. just think of all the many childrens lives you'll be able to touch.
I read your blog every day, and your joy and kindness flow through with every post. How happy to know that a child will be surrounded with such goodness and that you and Rich will enjoy all the blessings that a child can bring. I wish you true happiness!
Congratulations and God bless you!
amy!
i know i've just recently met you, but i'm so excited for you and your hubby! you are absolutely a doll and will be a wonderful mom to anyone that is placed with you! congrats! those children will be so lucky to have their lives touched by yours!
kim hesson
I just want to say Thank you. Sounds like Seth will be a great cousin! Two of my Aunts fostered when I was young and 2 of my fostered cousins, as adults, are still members of my family to this day. Frankly it feels odd talk about them as fosters at all. Wonderful news!
Oh Amy I am thrilled for you and your husband. The gift of love to a child who has a trials in their short lives is the biggest gift of all. With a big smile on my face I wish you all the best in this. Bravo sweet girl, bravo!!!
xoxo, Dede
What a wonderful decision to make. I know you will be wonderful and steadfast parents to each little life that you have contact with. I wish you courage and lots of giggles and smiles. Your Seth story brought a tear to my eye...what a sweetie!
Amy~You and Rich will be wonderful parents. I was a Pediatric RN for several years and saw first hand how children's lives changed when they are placed with loving parents. The blessings you and Rich will bestow on these beautiful children will be rewarding and life changing for you both.
Hugs:)
Carol
Ooh, what wondeful excting news! I am sure you will make fantastic fster parents, just what a confused, scared, lonely child needs! Bless you and all the best in your new adventure!
Hi Amy,
First off, I would like to say it was absolutely wonderful to meet you at Silver Bella. You are a darling, caring, creative, compassionate woman. It is so great to hear this big news after what sounds like so much heartache. You will make amazing parents. Best of luck. Look forward to hearing about your journey. Hugs!
Kari
Blessings on you, dear Amy...I admire you for doing this.
That is so huge and so wonderful!! You, Rich and future foster children will be in my prayers!
God bless you! What a wonderful thing you will be doing! I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
Wishing you the very best!
What big wonderful news! I've always sensed that you were someone special but this is such a hugely giving thing you are doing. It speaks volumes about your character. The best of luck to you and you as you grow your family!
That is absolutely wonderful! What a wonderful opportunity and a great way to make a difference in the lives of so many. Hooray!! and Lots and lots of Good Luck!
Oh Amy!
I'm sure you don't know this, but I worked with mentally ill children for over 10 years. I have seen some of the most horrific things that can be done to children and I have seen how those things have changed a child's mind, heart, and life forever.
There are soooo many people who unfortunately become foster parents for the money! (I know, how awful) So I also know what a need it is to have wonderful, caring foster parents like I am just certain that you are and your husband will be!! Oh, my heart is full and I have tears in my eyes as I type this!
What a huge step you are making, I hope that it brings much joy to your life! I am certain that along with the hardships you will face, it will also bring you a rewarding feeling that can not be felt in any other way!
Best, best wishes in this!
~Cerri xoxo
I have tears and goose bumps all at once. Amy, you are an angel. And your husband as well. We know of several couples that are infertile and instead of doing a great thing, like yourself, they become bitter and remain angry. I applaud you and your husband's decision to become foster parents. I can only imagine the bit of heaven the children will experience when they walk or are carried, through your front door. As a side note, at four years old my husband was dropped off at a child care house...but his parents never came back to pick him up. He became a child of the state. He was raised in a foster home and he is a wonderful man all because someone like yourselves raised him. Tears. Here's a big hug for you... {{hug}}...you're an angel.
Amy, I don't know you personally, but your blog is one of the first things I read everyday. I know you and Rich will make incredible foster parents and the children that enter your world will be touched forever with your beautiful magic. God bless you both.xox
Amy - I, too, was a Pediatric RN in the recovery room at a hospital in KC. People would always say to me, "I could never be a pediatric nurse - isn't it so hard to see them so sick or with cancer?" And, yes, that was difficult, but the worst moment I had was recovering a baby from surgery and then taking him back to his hospital room, only his room was empty because he didn't have any parents to be there with him. He was just a baby and no one was there to look forward to having him safe from surgery, no one to cuddle him or hold him or cry over him. That's what I remember most about working there. I love my own children so much, and every child deserves to have someone who thinks that they are the most important baby in the world. How can this happen?
No doubt you will be able to love and care for this foster child you will receive. I truly, truly believe that God has His hand in this. Best of luck to you and congratulations for having the courage to take on such a special task!
Laura in Chicago
It's going to be one of the hardest, yet one of the most rewarding things you will ever do with you life, dear heart, but I can't think of a better person to bring joy to a child's life.
Best wishes to you and to Rich.
oh amy...such wonderful news!!! you and Rich will be challenged like you've never been before as parenting is such the toughest job in the world but its so rewarding and I think any child that passes through your warm door to your loving arms will be grateful!
all the best!!!
Good for you. I'm deliberating the non-traditional route myself. I wish you much luck, love and happiness.
Sarah x
That's wonderful news! You, Rich and your foster children-to-be will be in my prayers.
You and Rich are so very generous - what a lucky little boy he will be!
That is so wonderful! You are blessed people for doing this...foster care is hard work.
Though I am still in my early 20s, and we won't think of having children for a few years - we have considered adoption or foster care - so I am very excited to watch your story unfold as you journey into this new chapter in your life.
Amy, congratulations on your new name, "Mom."
xo
Oh Amy. Sweet Amy. My husband was raised in foster care and now as an adult works in a children's emergency shelter. He often says of foster care that every single night that a child gets to sleep in a home that is safe and warm and that they feel protected in is invaluable. Keep your sweet and tender heart open- even to the hard parts. sue
your post is very touching. what a blessing you will be to a child without hope. may God bless you in all this. Kristy
I'm so happy that some precious children will find their way to your home. So many children out there need love and care by good people. I think you and Rich will be blessed by their love and appreciation and they will be blessed to have you--very temporarily or long term. Whatever the length of time, those children will have a taste of what it means to have someone care for them and that will give them something to take forward in their life.
You are going to have the time of your life! I became a foster parent at age 20 and loved many a baby for a dozen or so years! One particular bouncing blue-eyed blonde baby boy stayed and is my forever wonderful son. I know you'll just have the time of your life - and so will some lucky children!
Amy - these kids are going to be so blessed to have you looking out for them. Diane
Thank you for sharing this and, so happy of your decision. I can imagine that bringing a child into a loving environment such as your household will be filled with lots of joy and laughter. There's always a party atmosphere over here, wishing you all the best in taking this path of fostering.
Amy - This is the most wonderful news!!!! The children of the world will be healthier because you are going to be a foster parent...literally. I believe so strongly in the ripple effect of making a person feel loved and welcomed and needed when they are a child...you and your husband are heroes.
xo Corinne
This is so beautiful,and I can just tell from the way you write that you and your husband will be the most loving, kind and generous parents, the children that pass through your lifes will enrich you and you them.
Sandra Evertson
Dear Amy...hi there! I felt SO happy to meet you at Silver Bella!You have such a lovely, gentle, and kind light about you. I am a believer in that things happen for a reason. We don't always immediately get to know the "why" part but I'm sure once the little ones that are meant to come into your lives arrive, it will be abundantly clear.
I will keep a place in my heart for you and your Rich as you start your family. :-)
Hugs,
Michelle
Oh Amy!
I am thrilled to hear that you are going to open your home and your heart to a foster child.
Before I gave up my career to "play" for a living, I was a criminal defense attorney. I would say that 90% of my clients were 18 year old kids, strung out on meth, that held up a bank to support their habit. When I checked into their backgrounds, most of these kids had bounced from horrible foster home to horrible foster home. They needed somebody to stop and love them for them, whether it be for a day or a week or a lifetime.
You're the right person. I just know it. I knew I liked you from the get-go. Now I positively adore you.
How Wonderful! My husband and I have often talked about this ourselves and our own little boy Elliot has often asked if we can help kids that need a home. I cannot tell you how wonderful I think you will be as parents,just by the love and care in the things you create and your website I know you will be a perfect fit to a child that needs lots of love and support. Best wishes and God bless you both as you open your hearts and home. Hugs,Angelina
Amy, I have been looking forward to this announcement. Such a wonderful thing to hear just before Thanksgiving. Opening your hearts and home to children in need of a safe haven will bring challenges to be sure, but also blessings beyond measure. I will be giving thanks for you and Rich at our Thanksgiving table. God Bless!
This, dear Amy, is the sweetest news to all of our ears. Yes, you've never come outright and said it, but for those of us who've read your blog for a very long time, and count you as a friend, we had our suspicions I am sure that something was preventing you from becoming parents in that most conventional way. This, on the other hand, is a much more noble choice and will return as much joy to your life - and then some. We can't wait to read about this next part of your journey!
What a wonderful decision. You are in my prayers!
Bless you, Amy.
A heart as big as yours needs to love, and give! What bounty you have to give, what joy you will share. What love, honest and pure to help those in need.
I am happy for you and will hold you in my thoughts as you take this adventure!
Amy, its been awhile since I've stopped by, but I'm so glad that I did! I'm so, so happy that you are doing this. I've only met you a few times, but can see that you are so full of love & vitality. I know that any child that comes into your home will be blessed to have time with you & Rich.
Just catching up here Amy and reading this news, choked up. Congratulations and so much love to you both, xoxox a
Amy, I think I missed a whole month of blog posts! I'm enjoying catching up. This isn't Something Big- it's Something Huge! Congratulations!!! Your future foster children could not hope for a better placement than the bright, cheerful and "inspiring" home of Amy and Rich. You do know that you will have to teach them how to sing "Please Don't Eat the Daisies"?
That is so so generous of you. I had a rough time growing up because my mother died when I was ten and my family was really poor. My father also worked all day and then drank all night.
And I was the oldest of three. We never went into foster care or anything, but clothes would get worn out, or Christmas was coming and there weren't any presents at all - nothing too difficult, but still sad for an eleven-year-old girl with two younger sisters who looked up to her.
And there were these older couples at church who didn't have children, and they would stop by and help, take us out shopping, buy a cake for us when we hadn't had one in three months - little things that helped so much.
Thank you so much for doing something for children who don't have much.
Amy:
I have to admit I'm a blog skimmer. But, I don't know how I missed an entry this wonderful. I just read today's entry (12/13) and went "huh??". I've been seeing the room etc, and nothing registered. Anyways, late in congratulations... I am just so happy for you both.
Best of everything to you,
Bari
That is amazing news Amy! (I am awful to just now be catching up on your blog posts and reading this news).
Josh and I have been fighting this battle ourselves for a three years now, and there are days I try to tell myself I'm just not meant to have children... but I feel in my heart how badly I long for one, and pray that it will just happen for us someday. I often times have thought of adoption, but have never considered foster parenting.
I think you and Rich are amazing people and will give any child a happy, fun and love-filled home. You remind me of Mary Poppins in a way, with all of your magical ideas, your warm heart and cheerful smile. I imagine coming to live with the two of you, would be a dream come true for any child, let alone one who has had a little misfortune.
I hope your newest adventure fills your heart with love and joys you have never known.
XOXO,
Sara
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