Wednesday, April 22, 2009

our little bird

A few months ago, just after we visited our baby in California for his second birthday, his father called with a proposal. He said that he knew how much we love his baby and how much that baby loves us. He admitted that it was a lot harder than he thought it would be to care for his little boy as a single dad, working every available hour to make enough money to provide for him.

He asked if we would be interested in "co-parenting" with him. When he said the word "co-parenting" my heart nearly lept out of my chest. I couldn't speak more than a whisper when I said "Co-parent? What does that mean?" And when Rich heard just that part of the phone conversation from across the room, his eyes sprung uncontrollably with tears.

It was a prayer we didn't think we had the right to pray. We've always wanted to be as much a part of his life as possible...but we've also always respected the roles of his mother and father, who do love him so very much. We were his foster parents. We are his Godparents. And now, we will be co-parents.

So now we are just two weeks from picking up our sweet little bird to bring him back here. He'll be here for the summer, perhaps a little longer. In the meantime, we'll do webcam visits with his father and bring him back for a visit in July or so.

His mother still lives here in Virginia and we have the baby's father's permission to allow her supervised visits with him.

So that's where we are...so incredibly happy to be given even one more day with our sweet little bird. So many friends are worried for us, wondering aloud "won't your hearts be even more broken when he leaves again"...but tell me, really. Is fear of pain enough to stop my heart from loving this little boy? It is not. Not at all. I will endure whatever pain tomorrow brings to be a difference in his life. It is my promise to him. And it is, I know it with all my heart, what God intends for me to do.

As a little gift to you, I can tell you our little bird's name and even share a picture so that now you may pray for him by name and see his sweet face. His name is Alfredo, like the sauce. It was once so foreign to us and now it is the song my heart sings everyday.

84 comments:

craftydiane said...

What a precious little boy. I am so happy for you. I know God will work it all out and you will always be a part of this childs life giving him the love he needs. Isn't God wonderful!
Blessings,
Diane

Jess said...

I am sitting here with tears streaming . . . tears of happiness for you! I know you don't know me, but I've followed your blog and your story for quite some time. While I won't presume to say I know how you feel, I will say this: I thought for many years I wouldn't get to be a mom, and now I am. My toddler Isaac is the joy of my life, so I DO know about the love and happiness you are feeling about this little being getting to be a part of your life. Enjoy every moment, and thank you for sharing a little glimpse into your life! Little Alfredo and your little family will definitely be in my prayers!!

kelly lautenbach said...

Such a great heart you have... I wish you all the best. :) What a happy way for this to end/begin again. :)

Missy K said...

I have followed your love story about Baby from before even you knew his name, and there are tears of delight in my eyes now-- the blessing he is to you, the blessing you are to him, the grace of the love and humbleness of his father. . . Alfredo will be in my prayers and wishes for much joy for all of you.

Calamity Anne said...

The good Lord works in mysterious ways! Congratulations!!!

LDH said...

wow... I am so happy for all of you. Your heart is SO big and it just spills out in so many ways! Prayers and blessings to you.

cupcake studio said...

How wonderful! God is just full of blessings...how happy your hearts must be...enjoy every moment! So happy for you.

Tami @ Lemon Tree Tales said...

Congratulations! That's wonderful news. I bet Alfredo is super happy to be back home with you two.

Amy said...

In the movie "Shadowlands," CS Lewis says that the happiness now with his wife is part of the pain later when he will lose her. It's the tradeoff. That's how life works. Any moment with Baby is worth any amount of missing him later. I know you wouldn't want to have it any other way.

I hope we can find time to meet up when you are here to pick up Alfredo. I am so so happy for you and I know your heart is very full!

-Amy
(Crafting by Candlelight)

Leslie said...

Amy, I'm crying tears of happiness for you!! That is the most wonderful news!!! What a blessing! You, Rich and sweet little Alfredo are in my thoughts and prayers as you continue this happy journey!

Cristie said...

Good grief what a darling name to go with such an adorable little boy! Congratulations to all of you! Prayers that things will continue to work out in the best interest of Alfredo.

Emskyrooney said...

I don't think I've ever commented before, am usually just a reader. Wanted to say though that this post brought tears to my eyes- I'm so happy for all three of you! Oh, and Alfredo is ADORABLE!!!

Debra said...

I couldn't be happier for you. What a amazing gift to both you and your husband and Alfredo.

Anonymous said...

How wonderful, for you and for Alfredo! I pray that you, your husband, and his father will continue finding ways to bring up this precious child with love and joy!

Lynne said...

Oh, wow!

Anonymous said...

That is the happiest post I ever read in my whole entire life. And now you know; you'll be dancing at this little boy's wedding some day. Congratulations to you and Rich.

Angela said...

Oh Amy, this is so cool!! I am so happy for you, Rich, Alfredo, his father and his mother. Who but God knows what his plans for all of this may be...you and Rich may be the answer to the mother's prayers as well, leading her out of this hole that she is in. How great a testament that this father understands how important you both are to Alfredo...I will keep you all lifted up daily!!!

karlascottage.typepad.com said...

What a lucky little guy. I'm very, very happy for him!

Chandra said...

What a sweet story...so glad to follow along & hoping for a happy ending!

Anonymous said...

My heart is singing with happiness for you and Alfredo! Congratulations on this wonderful news.

natalie hansen said...

AMy,
I cried when you posted about him leaving... and now I am crying again, although this time, tears of joy for you, Rich, and Alfredo.

Lori Bei Durst said...

Hi Amy, I have followed your blog for over a year and am so happy to hear your wonderful news! Praise God and you for being open to the Divine of living a life full of love and service. You are a good example. God Bless you, Rich, your sweet little bird and his father too for making a wise decision. He(the father) is so lucky(for lack of a better word) to have you and Rich to help care for his little boy. There are no coincidences. I look forward to hearing about your fun adventures in the future. Take care, Lori

Kelly said...

There you go Amy. I am so VERY happy for you. I've thought all along as I read your story of love for this child, that you were definitely on a special journey. I'm so glad it's coming full circle for you! Happy early Mother's Day!!

Taiya said...

Congratulations! What an amazing gift! :) I am so happy for you. My husband and I are going to start the foster licensing process, soon. Thank you for sharing your story and Alfredo with us.

Julie said...

How wonderful! It brings tears to my eyes. I'm glad that his father cares about him so much that he has decided that someone who loves him as much as you do should have a part in his life.

brookelaine said...

Not that Baby didn't have the cutest little legs and hands in all of blogland, but it's so good to see his cute little face.

Congratulations!

Sonya said...

He is so very sweet and to see his little face and hear his name after all this time!
I am so very, very happy for you Amy. Always in our prayers, Sonya

Sue said...

Amy,

Such a happy result for everyone. Alfredo is a blessed little boy to be so surrounded with love (coast to coast). Fostering is a difficult job and can really take a toll on one's emotions. I am so happy for you and Rich that you have been given this amazing opportunity to continue to play a positive and loving part in this little guy's life. It gives me hope for the other little souls in foster care, they perhaps they too will find a family (or families) to share their love.

Sue

Judy said...

I cannot imagine the JOY you must feel!

All love hurts.

But, it's worth it, for sure!

Heather said...

That is the most wonderful news. I am so glad to hear that Alfredo will be spending more time in your loving home and that you will be able to continue the bond you created with him.
Hugs of joy!!

Leanne said...

It is so nice to see his sweet face. Isn't is something how things can just work themselves out?....and his room is waiting...and there is so much love.

melissac said...

So very happy for you!! I am praying for your all!!

bev said...

How very exciting. I am praying that the father understands that this baby needs the stability of your home and lets you keep him full time. Your love is moving this forward.

Jerusalem said...

How exciting!! This is wonderful for all of you, and I know that your hearts will expand just as big as they need to be to handle it all with grace!!
Hugs to you all!

louisa said...

How fabulous! One door closed and another opened wide! I'm so happy for all three of you. Alfredo is a lucky little boy - and a cute one, too! Thank you SO much for sharing his name and photo :0)

Such a Wondrous Place this Faery Space said...

I can hear the music. Blessings.

Anonymous said...

So....Miracles really do happen afterall! I have no words for how I feel about all this...The feelings are to big!

Ryan said...

What wonderful new & a great example of what can make a family. Congratulations to you all! XO

Shelly said...

I am so happy for you and Rich! What a special blessing. All the best for you all!

mom of 3 said...

Amy, Finally some news so exciting it takes my mind off Silver Bella for a moment.

I am not the biggest Church goer but I have ultimate faith in God and that all things happen for a reason and in good time. You put out such goodness in the world Amy and if one waits long enough it comes back. I wish you hadn't had to wait this long but little Alfredo looks worth it to me.

becky said...

I am so, so happy for you and Rich!!! I think you will always have a permanent place parenting little A! SO HAPPY for the pic!!!

Bee Serendipitous said...

Yeah - Amy, Rich & Alfredo and Alfredo's dad...God is definitely watching over all of you and He knows what awesome parents/co-parents you are...I myself have been really wanting to bring a child or children into my life/home...I'm still a little scared & to see all that you have gone through but I know that God will be there for me if I decide to..Peace Joy & Love 2 "U" all Marlene :O)

Ginnie said...

How wonderful for you! And seriously, how great that his dad was big enough to admit and ask for loving help from you, whom he knows loves his child?

Shelley Noble said...

Bravo to the boy's father for having the courage to put his son's needs above his own. In my eyes that makes him a true father.

What a wonderful turn of events!

Jan said...

God bless you and this precious little one. All the children that God has so graciously given are given only for a time. When we do our jobs correctly, they grow and become independent.

natalea said...

AAAHHHH!!! Amy! how absolutely wonderful!! I know how much he means to you two and this is amazing- I am so happy for you!!!!
this just made my day.
xo natalea

Dori said...

Amy, this wonderful,joyful news has brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful gift this young father has given you and Rich, and Alfredo (I love knowing Baby's name and seeing his sweet face!) and to himself! What a beautiful summer you will have. This just seems so right, so very right, and the blessings will far out weigh the risk of pain. God Bless! {{HUG}}

lauradodson said...

i'm sure there are many unknowns that must be worked through as they pop up...however, i am so happy for you, your husband, baby's father, baby, baby's mother who will get to see him...

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

Wenzel Family said...

Hi...i read your blog an almost started crying when I just read your post about little alfredo...so funny how attached to someone else's story...someone you don't even know.
I praise God that he has given you and Rich this opportunity...there is nothing like the love of a child! Congrats on becoming a mommy!!!

Mary said...

this is just wonderful news! i think it's very big of the father to admit he needs the help too. and so what if it's not a traditional arrangement? you guys are really amazing. and selfishly, i'm loving the increase in updates! :)

Storybook Woods said...

Oh Amy what a blessing for all of you. God works in wonderus ways and I so admire you for being so willing. Clarice

Loraine said...

your boy is beautiful.

tears of joy for someone i've never "met".

so happy!!!!

Debe said...

I am just so very happy for the blessing you have been given. So happy for all of you =)!!!

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

When you love deeply, you also feel the pain that sometimes comes with it. You are right. Love your little one. The love will get you through.

gillian said...

Well, God bless you and little Alfredo. You may be a co-parent, but it's apparent your love is not co... it's fully.

Marie in Seattle said...

Yeah this is such wonderful news. I have been praying for you and will now pray for your whole little family...

Chris Worthy said...

Wow -- what wonderful news. I will pray for you all and I rejoice with you in this news.

Michelle Anderson said...

I think it's wonderful to give any child love and your special one will florish with the joy you will be him. How lucky he is to have found the two of you. I know this sounds harsh, but PLEASE protect you rights and document events so possibily if you have the blessed chance for adoption you will be prepared. Enjoy the summer with your boy.

...and she lived... said...

That is such fantastic news I'm so happy for you guys! I get it...I totally get it. When I look at my boys...even just a few minutes with them would be worth any kind of pain. Your love for Alfredo and his love for you must have been shining so bright on that visit!

p.s. he's such a cutie!

Claudia said...

Amy, this news fills my heart with joy. Your happiness spills out from this blog post for us all to share. I couldn't be happier for you and Rich and Alfredo and his parents. His Dad certainly is strong enough to admit he needs help and all of you together can raise this boy to be a strong,good young man. Blessings to you.

Sharon in NE said...

Celebrating with and for you!

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy!! What a joy--so happy for you and Rich. Thank you for sharing. You are all in our prayers
~Angie~

m i c h e l l e said...

Wow! I'm so so happy for you and Rich. Yours hearts just must be so full! And thank you for sharing the pic of Alfredo. All of you will definitely be in my prayers.
Oh what happiness!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks be to God!

vintagepretties said...

I have tears in my eyes! What wonderful, wonderful news!! It seems like a miracle -- it just shows that there are answers out there to our questions & issues that we couldn't even imagine.

deb said...

I have tears in my eyes for you. He is just precious. That just made my day! Hugs to you.

And the project - oh MY!

Alice dR said...

I'm so happy for you I'm crying! What a blessed outcome for all of you. Best wishes.

Kara Ward said...

Oh, Amy-
My heart sings for you! It is a match made in heaven. Little "A" is so lucky too! How thrilling.


Make sure to sit by me at SB. I hate walking into a room and knowing, no one. We have 4 classes together so that should be so fun!!!!

Debbie from Illinois said...

I am so happy for you!

Waterfall said...

I cried when I read this wonderful news. I am so happy for you and Rich ... and little Alfredo! I wish I had read this earlier--I was at Tina Cleveland's last night and she was asking about you. I wish I could have told her the good news then!

Relyn said...

I, too, have a son of my heart. He belongs to his parents and we (my husband and I) play a smaller role in his life with each year that passes. But, you know what? He is still the child of my heart. He is my son and the thought of him brings me joy each and every day. Yes, I miss his terribly. Every day. My heart aches. Every day. Of course it does. But, each day I wrap him in my prayers, cover him in my love, and trust him to God. And thank God for all the love He gave me for my sweet boy.

So, I think I know just how you are feeling. What I wouldn't give for a summer with my own little bird. Enjoy every minute of it. The times, the love, the joy... it is all enough. It will be enough because you have a Father who loves you and He is always enough. Have a blessed summer.

Whosyergurl said...

Amy, tears are running down my face as I read this. I love the line where you said "I will endure whateve pain tomorrow to make a difference in his life, today." You and Rich are such amazing people. I don't know who is blessed more- the two of you or Alfredo. And what a loving father he has to allow you to share in raising and loving his son and to allow Alfredo's mother to love him too.
love to all, Cheryl in IN
Whosyergurl

Peggy. said...

I am so happy for you all. How lucky this little boy is to have so many that love him so much.
Being a parent is full of joy and hearache...that won't change no matter how old Alfredo gets. But it is so worth it.
Peggy

joy! said...

Oh, Amy, what a beautiful picture of agape -- your willingness to "lay down your life" for this precious child! I rejoice with you and pray that God will continue to bless and honor you as you co-parent Alfredo.

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

It's a win win situation for everyone! Alfredo gets double the adults to love him, care for him..provide for him...you get the chance to be a monumental part of his life!
So happy it's worked out for you Amy!

Andrea Singarella said...

Can't stop crying!
What a blessing you and Rich are to Alfredo. And what a blessing he is to both of you.
I'm SO happy for all of you!
xoxox andrea

Anonymous said...

Yipee! I am so happy for you and feel deep in my heart that it will all work out for you.

I think Alfredo's father knows how much you love him and he wants what's best for him. He, also, sees how giving and wonderful you both are.

I don't believe that God would take you this far, and then dump you on your head.

~elaine~

Sandi said...

Tears of joy! I am so happy to read this . I think of you often and your story.
VictorianGypsy
(we were both in the book swap last year at SB)Looking forward to this year and meeting everyone again)

Anonymous said...

So, happy for you and your little family! What an unselfish decision Alfredo's father has made. This little boy is so lucky to have all of you! Love has no boundaries!

Jules of Whimsicalnotions blog said...

Wishing you nothing but love and happy memories,You are the sweetest people ever and that little boy is lucky to have you in his life however long as the Julia Roberts character in Steel Magnolias said "Id rather have 10 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special" You will have a very special time and i have a feeling god has a plan as he often does.If this is your path then dance along.
hugs
Jules

tongue in cheek said...

No words, just a steady stream of tears.

Following your heart is the only way.

FrenchGardenHouse said...

Amy,

Late. I am reading this so late. But am still teary eyed for you, sweet girl. Our God is in the business of miracles. Your little Alfredo is yours to "co parent"...who could have prayed for or dreamed this?
hugs, Mama

Lidy

Natasha Burns said...

Amy I am so way beyond behind in catching up with what you have been up to. I visited your blog after reading Karla's and how she said you and Andrea had spoken about your toddlers, and I read back with hope and anticipation! I'm so happy for you that Alfredo is back with you and that you are co-parenting him. My eyes welled up with tears too, when I searched back in your archives and found this post. I'm so happy for all of you. What a lucky boy Alfredo is to have you two in his life, and a wonderful father who cares enough and loves him enough to share him with you xo

Tina said...

I haven't been to visit your blog in a very long time and was surprised to see your photo with a wee boy. I'm thrilled to read of the arrangment you've made with Alfredo's father. Families happen in more ways than we can possibly imagine. Love is clearly stronger than the fear of loss and sadness. It has to be to keep parents going in all sorts of circumstances. I'm so glad for Alfredo and his dad that you're willing to be such an important part of their family.