Friday, October 10, 2008
the morning after...
I had a really low day yesterday. By the time Rich got home, I just collapsed into a tearful blubbering fit in his arms.
I had decided in the afternoon to make a photostory of Baby using all the photos we took while he was here, set to two of his favorite songs. I put the photos in chronological order...the first few pictures are of his birthday party, less than a week after his arrival.
Going through all of those pictures, and then having them come to life with the pans and zooms and all, was just a little bit too much for my broken heart. But then, after maybe the 12th time of watching the little show I was able to smile a little through my tears.
I know that he is where he's meant to be and that he will have a wonderful life ahead of him, full of love and care and guidance. My sadness is from missing him so much. And that sadness rests in my throat and aches whenever I swallow. Sometimes it makes my head buzz and my eyes sting out hot tears. I am at the brink of full out weeping at any moment.
This morning, fresh with promise, my eyes sprung open and I felt better. I awoke with a prayer on my lips. I'm asking God to help me out of that place where all this seems too much to bear and into a place of peace. If you talk to Him today, will you ask the same for everyone who's suffered a loss?