Yesterday was Baby's second visit with his mom. Training prepares us to expect lots of criticism from mom...his clothes aren't right, his hair isn't right, he's lost weight (he's gained weight), and on and on. It's the mom's way of saying "Look, I'm a good mom. Better than you. I should have my baby, not you."
I try to put myself in the mom's place and understand what she's feeling. I try to hear the love behind what she is saying. I have to admit though that the little jabs really get to me, especially when they are one after another like a barrage.
A little miracle intervened yesterday to make things maybe a little easier (although it was still very hard).
Baby arrived to us with just a hospital gown but a couple of weeks later, the mom gave us a trunk-sized suitcase filled with clothes. Something like 49 pairs of pants.
When I was getting Baby dressed, I had the idea to dress him with the sneakers of which his mom seemed especially proud. There was a pair of track pants that I'd planned to dress him in (going for the whole athletic look here) but in the daylight I noticed the pants were navy blue instead of black like the shoes. Improvising, I pulled out a pair of jeans rationalizing that they go with anything. (Meanwhile, I seriously can't believe I'm putting so much thought into what this pint-size fashion plate is wearing!)
Then, while we were having breakfast, I was thinking about how nice it would be to give the mom a picture of Baby. I'd mentioned to the mom last week that I was making a baby book for her, with a picture of his first birthday for one thing. Since I need so many more pictures before the book is complete, I thought maybe the thing to do would be to frame just one little picture for Baby to give his Mama.
The amazing thing is that there was a message for me that never actually got to me asking me to dress Baby in the shoes and jeans that I just happened to put on him and also to bring a picture of Baby for the mother.
Nobody at the meeting knew that I hadn't gotten the message so all of these things like dressing Baby in just the right things and bringing a picture were expected. It wasn't until later when the person who was supposed to give me the message got the message, panicked and called to explain. And I didn't know until last night that this littlest of miracles had even happened.
28 comments:
Hi, sorry to bother, I have been reading your blog forever. Too interesting to stop! Both your craft inspiration and now, your new little adventure.
I have just started my own little blog and would like to welcome you there: writeabookwithme.blogspot.com
Please keep sharing you life and thougths, we need more people like you!
Sweet Amy, I think there is an angel guiding you! :)
Amy...that was a great story to tell. The hand of God was truly on you. I am so glad you got the right directions from "somewhere"! ((hugs)) Rosie
It certainly helps you know that God's hand is guiding you.
Oh Amy....you had an angel resting your shoulder yesterday indeed! What a fabulous story that must touch you guys and know that this is all "so right" for you right now. Thanks for sharing that. I love miracles, both large and small! Hope you have a wonderful weekend with baby!
xoxo,
Teresa McFayden
Oh My! Thank Goodness for that miracle!
It sounds like such a tricky situation. I hope that when you're not taking care of the precious souls that come your way, that you are getting lots of rest and nutrition. It sounds like you'll need it to counteract the built-in stresses of the situation!
It sounds like you are doing everything just right :)
Wow, Amy. I had no idea you had to go through visits and everything. I can only imagine how difficult that must be. It seems like that mother should be so grateful to you, but I guess to her you are part of the group of "enemies" who cause her unhappiness. Yikes.
It takes a special person to be a foster parent... a person like you!
Amy, If that's not an example of prompting from the Holy Spirit, I don't know what is. What a great story. Lovey
Wow, Amy, your story is amazing. How sensitive you are to the Spirit's inner leading.
You are blessing to the child as he is to you.
Lorrie
Amy,
I am praying for you and Rich and whatever little ones you have in your home on a weekly basis.
I can't think of a more perfect person than YOU for this ~ creating a loving environment for little ones (and their Moms).
And your miracle is just a wonderful affirmation of God's love and grace for you, and the little one, too.
xo Lidy
God is so good.
Amy, I know how hurtful those comments are ( from birth-mom). Just know that she is grasping at straws, and she will probably continue to do that. She knows she can't begin to compete with you in caring for her child. God bless you (He will!)
Cheryl
Amy that's amazing! It put a big smile on my face, what a sweet story to start my day this morning! You are doing such a wonderful job, I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through the visits...you are such a strong person. Your nurturing and care will certainly change lives.
There are miracles happing all the time. So neat that you recognized it as such and not just as a coincidence. Little baby in your life for now is the sweetest of miracles.
You are doing a fantastic job. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise! There's a reason baby is with you for now.
What a great story! There are truly small miracles everywhere, every day.
Hi, I've been lurking on your blog for ages, it's one of the ones I read for inspiration, but I just wanted to say how much I've been loving reading these last few weeks.
Fostering is something I would really like to do in the future, plus I have a baby girl who I suspect is a couple of months younger than your current little friend.
It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job, and fate is certainly on your side.
That is amazing! They say things happen in 3s-good things too! Good job!!
i call them angel-breezes...moments when things breeze thru my life and blows me gently on the right path!
I have tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. I love hearing these stories because it confirms everything I believe. God bless you for carring for this precious little baby.
Phew! That was a close one! You and Baby were guided by the Angel-Babies.
You were meant for this, Sweetcheeks! xoxo
You are a gift to Baby... and Baby is a gift to you. Enjoy your time together.
Joni
What an inspiring story about the angels guiding you on your journey. Baby is lucky to have someone like you in his life to help him over this bumpy spot.
Hugs to you Amy!
God is in the details...
Amy, I too have enjoyed the last few weeks of posts so much. I feel so lucky to have been enjoying this blog (for almost two years now!) and to now have this window into such a personal experience is really touching. I think this story is an example of how you are "following your bliss" and I know the rewards for this will be amazing, no matter what the situation with Baby's mom or her expectations. You are so inspiring, thank you for sharing all of this with us.
Becky
You are doing so much to accommodate baby and mother, so fantastic to hear that you had everything in mind to a T.
Amy, you are amazing. I have tears in my eyes. If I know one thing for sure, it's that God involves himself in adoptions and foster care! I've seen it firsthand, time after time.
One of my little sisters gave up her baby son for adoption (also an open adoption) four years ago and it has been quite the learning experience for all involved. But what a blessing! My nephew has THE BEST parents in the world, plus a sister and then now twins who are supposed to arrive in a few weeks time. My family and I are just flabbergasted by the grace the adoptive parents have shown every single step of the way...the way they hand him over to us to hold from that first day and call us "Aunt," "Uncle;" the way they put the things we give in his room where he can see them; the way they post our pics on the frig so he remembers us; and the way they have even come here for Christmas so he could meet MY grand-parents (his greats) that he would never have met otherwise. This is purely sacrifical and we know that; they are doing what is difficult (even painful) so that my nephew will remain connected to his birth family, believing this is for his good in the long-run. But could I do the same? I don't know! Amy, I don't know if you are taking care of this little one as some of the comments seem to indicate or if you are adopting him as I originally thought from your posts, but regardless you are doing a hard thing that is oh-so-wonderful. Bless you and your sweet family. Your children will rise up and call you blessed, Amy...that is a sure thing!
What a beautiful and thoughtful woman you are and you care so much about every detail. I know you are here in this season in your life to change the lives of others. I could tell that when I met you, you have so many gifts.
God Bless you and your husband and the little ones.
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